Jun 2012 25

:Wumpscut: - Women and Satan First:Wumpscut:
Category: EBM
Album: Women and Satan First
Stars: 1.5
Blurb: Even those that have been able to accept :Wumpscut: as a tired self-parody will be disappointed by the laziest :W: album yet.


No one seems to be able to agree exactly when Rudy Ratzinger became little more than a parody of himself, but even his most ardent fans seem to agree that his best albums are behind him. :Wumpscut: is the slasher film of his genre – sure, he might have been scary and unique at one point, but now he’s just slaughtering coeds in increasingly predictable and banal ways. This is clearly evident in his 2012 release, Women and Satan First. While it has the occasional bright spot, it is marred by lazy sampling, simplistic song structures, and (for the most part) songs that fail to stick with the listener. The album is on the whole equal parts bland and lazy.

We open with a sample calmly repeating, “Achtung, Achtung” set to a bit-reduced synth line. Pounding drums, more samples (some of them rather grating), and high-pitched siren sounds follow. The male and female vocals straddle the line somewhere between vocoder and auto-tune. It’s a decent beat, and will most certainly get some club play. The main problem with the track is that it’s very stereotypical with absolutely nothing unique or interesting about it. While not bad, it feels like the :Wumpscut: equivalent of Strong Bad’s “Techno Song.” “Women and Satan First” follows, and even at this stage in the album, one begins to suspect that Ratzinger cut a few corners along the way. “The women first, the Satan first” (sic) is repeated an unforgivable amount of times, and the song goes absolutely nowhere for four minutes straight. You can basically skip to the next track at the 1:50 mark and miss nothing whatsoever. “Death Panacea” starts with some samples from Léon: The Professional, and it’s actually not a bad track. Its unhurried mid-tempo pace keeps the right amount of venom and aggression, thanks in part to a few solid synth patches. Gary Oldman’s samples from the film crop up a few more times than is really necessary, but that will be addressed later. Aleta Welling takes over on vocals for the rather long coda, with less than impressive results. While her monotone, sinister delivery often adds a chilling tone to any song she appears on, in this track she just sounds bored. It’s as if even she realized that the lyrics were goofy and vacuous.

“Kill That Little Fuck” is an interesting milestone for Ratzinger. He stops trying to butcher the English language to fit whatever rhyme scheme he needs at the moment (see the lyrics to: “Just a Tenderness,” “The Boo,” “Funeral Diner,” etc. etc. etc.) and actually attempts to deliver a message without shoehorning it into some silly rhyme. That’s good. What’s bad is fact that the lyrics are the puerile ramblings of a middle schooler. “What makes you think I could love a big asshole like you?” queries Ratzinger. It’s a shame, really, because the mood, samples, and general feel of the song give the impression that it’s a genuine expression of rage. The sampling in this track, as well as the sound design of the percussion is :Wumpscut: at his best – dirty, loud, and intimidating. If you can look past the silly lines (and the cringe-worthy, “Hitler would have melted you for soap”), you’ll find something pretty solid. The following track, “Burial on Demand,” is probably the best of this bunch. It is fast, has some nice percussive breakdowns, and is catchy as hell. Gary Oldman in Léon: The Professional makes a sampled appearance… again. If you wanted to show a track from this album to your friends, but didn’t want them to judge you for spending money on it, this would be the one.

“Grobian” would be a pretty cool song if Ratzinger didn’t recycle the shit out of a single sample throughout the song. The beat is good, the bass line is wobbly and grungy, and the vocals are even pretty catchy. The problem is that :Wumpscut: heard a line in a movie, decided that that was a good enough backbone for a song, and built one around it. It’s boring, it’s lazy, and it’s honestly pretty aggravating to hear him come up with increasingly convoluted ways to fit the sample in there. If you’ve seen Gangs of New York, you can basically just loop about 30 seconds of monologue and set it to some vaguely creepy music, and then you have the next track, “L’Enfer Noir.” If you haven’t seen the film, this song is a pretty lousy replacement. The rest of the album carries on in a similarly uninspired fashion. Long time :Wumpscut: fans know that Ratzinger has made a habit of closing his albums with slow, somber, depressing pieces. “Kaufe Deine Seele” is not haunting, or chilling, or memorable in any way. It’s a nice summation of the previous 40-odd minutes of music – when it’s over, one wonders if it had any point at all.

Back in the day, I’d wonder why Rudy Ratzinger was so insistent on a “one album per year” calendar. It seemed that if he took more time to hone his albums, they’d stop being such a mixed bag and he might be able to regain some of that brilliance that marked his early career. As it stands, his releases usually have one to three gems amid a bunch of bland material. This time, however, it’s shocking that it actually took a year to put this album together. It’s so unbelievably lazy, that it’s hard to even view :Wumpscut: as a serious musician anymore – it seems more probable that he squeezes something out in a few months and the rest of the year is spent designing expensive box sets that no one buys (I’m talking about you, Body Census). Look on the bright side – when he invariably releases Embryodead (Resample Edition), it will at least be less of a desperate cash grab than Women and Satan First.

It will still be a cash grab, though.
Track list:

  1. Hallelujah
  2. Women and Satan First
  3. Death Panacea
  4. Kill That Little Fuck
  5. Burial on Demand
  6. Grobian
  7. L’Enfer Noir
  8. Blutsturtz, Baby
  9. Cunnilingus Creutzfeuer
  10. Kaufe Deine Seele

:Wumpscut: Website http://www.wumpscut.com
:Wumpscut: MySpace http://www.myspace.com/wumpscut
:Wumpscut: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/RudyRatzinger
:Wumpscut: Twitter http://twitter.com/RudyRatzinger
Metropolis Records Website http://www.metropolis-records.com
Metropolis Records MySpace http://www.myspace.com/metropolisrecords
Metropolis Records Facebook http://www.facebook.com/MetropolisRecords
Metropolis Records Twitter http://www.twitter.com/metropolisrec
Purchase at:
Amazon CD
Amazon MP3
Donald Beach (DXNero)

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